Day 164

Yesterday we got a lot of wedding stuff accomplished. We ordered the stamps for the invitations. We also ordered the shoes for the groom, his vest to match his suit and all the shirts for the gentlemen. We are still looking at dresses for our lovely flower girl along with a shirt for our fun ring bearer. I have also been working on my "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." I have my something old, my grandpa some of my grandmas pearls. Pearls and emeralds are my favorite when it comes to the jewelry department. He said some of them could be old enough that my grandma's grandma could have worn them! That is so special to me, my grandma, great grandma and great great grandma won't be at my wedding but I will have a piece of them with me. If you have any ideas for the rest of the "somethings" let me know. I have seen where girls take something blue of their dads and sew it into their dress. I have a lot of family to include so I am still searching.

Day 167

I think that after the service everything really hit me. I entered a stage of grieving where I became angry at everyone, I took everything wrong and to heart. It felt like being a teenager again. I had an 8 hour panic attack the day after. I couldn't calm down. The two weeks following have been my own personal hell. I have been fighting with everyone and cant seem to find my forgiveness. My counselor assures me that I am allowed to feel this way, I have been reading this book on grieving that has been helping me understand why I am going through these different stages. As I am writing this on mother's day I am struggling a bit. 

Luckily, Danny is so patient when I get crazy. We started running, and I can't tell you how much that has helped. Not just my cognitive abilities but my fitness and mood are all soaring above where they have been since before Christmas. Danny is a genius. 

All of the girls have picked their bridesmaid dresses. They all look spectacular. We also hit the 6 month mark. We have been settling a lot of little things lately. Mainly about parties and clothing. Though I am getting excited this is a lot more work than I ever expected. Which is why we wanted a casual small wedding. I know it will be a lovely time it has just gotten so much bigger than we ever planned. Most of the invites are addressed and we are just waiting on the postage to make it in. 

Our toasting champagne flutes came in

This is part of the centerpieces, they will surround the chalkboard wine bottles.